Victor Machado

Victor Machado was born an ugly, ugly child to very pretty parents. This caused them no end of disappointment in their child, which they showed by forcing him to sleep in a kennel until the age of six. This resulted in Victor being a perennial bed-wetter until long after he was out of school. In the academy, one of his nicknames was "Crinkly Sheets Machado."

In his youth, he developed a near-terminal case of pizza face, and was teased mercilessly by school bullies whose favorite means of torture was hyper-turbo wedgies.

As an adult, he became a drunken whoremonger, as paying for intimacy was the only way he could find it.

No one is quite sure how he became the captain of a starship, though the rumor is he performed many, many sexual favors for one or more admirals to "earn" his new ship.

This entry serves as a challenge for Otto to change it and put in a real bio as soon as possible :)