Local News

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Werewolf
World News

Local News

David Barrier: Welcome to ABC nightly news. We’d like to start out this evening’s news with a story we’ve just learned about. It seems that a new “bug” is going around our community and it appears to be spreading the quickest through… our public schools.

Amy Huin: That’s right David, it seems that the new flu, which some are dubbing the “back to school bug”, spreads primarily through school children it is still unknown just what is causing it.

It’s not as bleak as it seems health officials are saying. Here is what Herbert Liu had to say earlier.

Herbert Liu: “As of now we are unsure as to what is causing this new strain of flu. However in all the reported cases so far none have proven fatal. Most subjects seem to improve after two to three weeks. If you do suspect that you or your child contracts this new strain please visit the special care unit that has been set up at all hospitals. Here you will meet with your normal doctor but at the same time it will allow us to study the new strain so we may combat it effectively. Again, there is no need for alarm; at worst we may have a problem with backed-up homework!”

  • laughs from crowd

Amy Huin: That’s nice isn’t it David?

David Barrier: It sure is Amy! Let’s hope they can find a vaccine for it soon, not really a way I’d want to start out the school year.

Amy Huin: I guess they get a prolonged summer break with plenty of soda and OJ!

David Barrier: Haha, that’s right! In other news members of the Healing Smile Earth Organization were arrested today after having blockaded trucks trying to leave the Timberland Company’s compound in Northbend. The activists claim, so far with no proof, that the company clear cuts without taking any steps to renew the forest. Timberland’s public relations officer had this to say.

Spokesman Charlie Gunther: “We frown on this unwarranted smearing of Timberland’s good name. We have been part of the Northwest for over 100 years. Timberland takes their job very seriously and we constantly work to renew our natural resources here. While I hate that it has come to legal action the protestors showed no sign of listening to reason.”

Amy Huin: Last night people in North Seattle were assaulted with gunfire and chaos as a gang fight erupted near the Northside Mall. The investigation is still on-going but so far it has been confirmed that 8 bystanders were killed along with 5 gang members. There are at least 10 innocents in critical condition as well. The gangs involved in the fight appear to be the Latin based gang “El Trebe” and the famous “Bloodworks”. We will bring you more as more information becomes available.

David Barrier: And finally it seems that Washington will be visited by none other then Lance Benton. That’s right, the star of the popular “Greatest Hunts This Side of my Shack” will be filming several episodes right here in our backyard. We caught up with Lance to ask him about his trip to the Northwest.

“Lance, what made you decide to come to Washington?”

“Well sir, I’ll tell ya. Hunt’in is different everywhere you go. Now, my show is to showcase some of the bestest spots to hunt. I’ve heard ye’all got some great wild game up here that just ain’t around in my state no more. That being of course primarily bears and wolves!”

“Oh right, Washington is one of the states that still has a fairly high wolf population along with bears. Wolves and bears though, sounds dangerous.”

“Course they is! That’s why ol’Lance is on the job! You better believe these are gonna be some of the best episodes ever!”

  • laughter

“Well it sure does sound that way, can’t wait to see what you catch!”